Saturday, March 14, 2009

the monogamist's throne

What is it about pairing off as the end all be all to our personal success in life? Why do we feel complimented, justified, complete, when we find someone who loves us, cherishes us, and wants to grow old with us? What's so great about someone loving you romantically? Isn't it sufficient to have friends in your life who would die for you? Take a bullet for you?



I think humanity has a serious ego issue. This is probably why women in relationships often don't get along well with women who are single. Not only do they believe every single gal out there is on the hunt for a man, but they tend to think that every woman who talks to their spouse is hitting on them. Sure, they might be insecure, but does that really vindicate the dagger eyes? Perhaps. Circumstances could ask for it I suppose. And why is it, being single inspires pity from other people? "So, are you seeing anyone special? No? Oh, don't worry, you'll find someone soon, you're a great person." Thank you, I know I'm a great person, I don't need a ball and chain to legitimize my existence in this regressive society!

I refuse to indulge in the hierarchy of the monogamist's union. When I enter a healthy relationship and find someone I can tolerate for more than five minutes, it will be solely for the reasons of enjoying their company. I don't need arm candy. A spouse shouldn't be treated as an accessory. "This is my boyfriend, see how well he goes with my new smile?" Just the other night my friend told me that his friend dated someone of 'high' status, which automatically makes her a catch. Um, excuse me? She hooked a successful guy so suddenly that makes her admirable? We must stop praising people for their abilities to lure men and women towards us and start praising them for who they are as individuals. If we don't, we'll only perpetuate this pathetic display of superficial relationship syndrome.




Just to clarify here, I am not anti-monogamy by any means. I definitely prefer being in a healthy relationship than being single. But I don't think I'm any less of a person if I don't have someone in my life. And I don't need pity. I'm happy when I'm single. I'm sad when I'm single. I'm happy when I'm with someone, and I can get sad when I'm with someone. It's all the same. The key is finding things you love other than love itself.