Sunday, October 31, 2010

frenemy? try foodemy!

I've taken to a new leisurely activity... that is: to be honest with myself. I may weigh only 93 lbs. I may be a vegetarian who is quite strict with her diet. But I also adore eating. So when I eat, I over eat, because I'm like those little sex know those things we call rabbits. Rabbits have no intellectual or physical capacity to know when they've stuffed their faces enough. They also disperse fecal matter while they eat (they quite literally shit where they eat).

The other day I had a caprese salad... and marinated tofu.... And (drum roll please) more cheese. Yes I realize cheese is awful for you. Yes I realize it is fattening. I'm also aware of how disgusting the concept of cheese is, trust me, I'm aware! But everything about it says "I want to be inside of you" So, if I'm being honest with myself about my diet it's that I've fallen off the wagon and I probably shouldn't complain if my stomach isn't what I want it to be or my love handles have made a comeback. It's nobody's fault but my own...or rather the crooked and corrupt dairy industry's fault. Damn you and your incredibly delicious tasting smoked gouda and creamy double-churned goat's cheese.

But seriously, why should I be eating something from a goat? What an odd concept. Mammals are gross to begin with, but our species is the only species that take it to another derogatory level. They start us off as mild cannibals with the breast milk feeding and nipple gnawing and all that Freud "I secretly want to marry a woman who has the same tits as my mother" bullshit. And then suddenly that becomes taboo and we are expected to drink cow's milk that is not only 130% more fattening and full of BHT from a cow that has never seen the light of day but also probably contains carcinogens (because everything causes cancer nowadays) and really we are all just slowly committing suicide. So much of our food today makes me say "I forbide you to enter my little belly!!!" and then sometimes I am bad and eat it cheese...fucking cheese!!!!

And you can't trust anybody. You can't trust eggs they're awful for you too, not to mention how awful it is for the poor hens in the factory farms. You can't trust yogurt, that is just insanity! And you can forget about coffee, unless you can sleep at night knowing what those poor farmers in South America go through just so you can get the jitters and stay awake. The only way is a purely organic diet, plant based, and if you can..keep it local.

Except for the coffee part of course. Try and find a local roaster who purchases organic fairly traded coffee, or even better, who work as a CO-OP with their farmers. There's nothing like having your coffee roasted on site, right in front of you. I had the pleasure of going to a roaster in Almonte, Ontario, which is coincidentally only 20 minutes from my house.

Here is what a fairly good sized roasting machine looks like:

And here is what the coffee looks like before it's roasted:

The above coffee is from a co-op farm in Ethiopa. This coffee tastes spectacular.
So the only way to win is to be a good person I suppose. Think of the farmers, think of your own body, think of the animals!!!

And no, I am not on a caffeine high right now. I have had to drop the Joe habbit and replace it with all natural herbal teas. The last time I had caffeine I was at Ashley's house and I puked up my Orange Pekoe. Yes. It was a tragic day, the day I bid farewell to caffeine.

I did not intend to preach, but I suppose I may have done so a little bit in this here post.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

HOWL -- Premiers November 5th, at Bytowne Cinema

Next Friday is opening night of "HOWL" at BYTOWNE! I'm counting on this film to inspire me, re-invite me into the world that was the Beat Generation, and to re-read all of Ginsberg's work.. I have quite a bit of faith in James Franco to portray him well, after all, he did play James Dean. Not to mention that writers/directors Rob Epstein and Jeff Friedman have lots of experience making documentaries in the past, so I have a feeling this will be mockumentary style with just the right pinch of drama. I'm very very very eager to see, not only the performances, but the way in which the film is written and what it is about Ginsberg that they will focus on. It's no secret that Allen was an oddball...But how much of that will shine through in HOWL?

For showtimes check out

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

please, call me Downer.... Debbie Downer

I'm asking for a revolution of my dreams. to sleep in a basin of new ideas. progress and assertion and all the things I need to feel alive when I'm awake and asleep when I am in suspended consciousness. homo sapien sapiens have this inert ability to derive everything they need from everything around them. self sustainability is obsolete. post modern world is nothing more than ideas metamorphosed into some other version of its original self into another remix of its newest update and it never ends. It doesn't stop there.

What did this world do before ideas belonged to someone else? Where did it all begin? How did it begin? The first thought, the first creative thought...the first sign of hindsight...the very first song. The aboriginal expression of emotion and of inner existence. Who are we now? How do we define ourselves?

There's this thing we do called "communication." but really it's just "regurgitation."

The literal definition of regurgitation often pertains to puking up your food. Food is a thing creatures use as fuel to stay alive and function. Fuel is a thing cars need to remain mobile. Cars are a thing humans use to become mobile. Humans are a thing Earth doesn't need.

We are at the bottom of the chain, no matter which way we look at it. Who the fuck needs US?

Shit, I have some serious pessimistic doctrines.

Good thing we have almost wrapped day 12 of filming. I can finally get to sleep at 8am.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I don't care... I want the iPhone.

snap from my iPhone.

this film gig seems to welcome a lot of down time. A sign that someone is experiencing a time of "down" is the elevation of their feet onto their work station as I have displayed so informatively in the photo below.

For some reason, the human race has decided that this is the universal symbol for slacking. I am one who frequents the 'slacking' position. Probably because I tend not to take work seriously. In fact, the only thing I take seriously is myself, which is decidedly a tragic flaw.

I have only read two Vonnegut novels but have many more on my shelf at home and am eager to turn their pages. Here is a photo from Breakfast of Champions, which I have recently finished reading.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

A man within- coming soon

I am really excited about this film. If you aren't a burroughs fan, become one. If you aren't familiar with burroughs, make it so. If you don't give a shit, learn to give a shit. This man is legendary. This man is everything a writer hopes to be. This man is William S Burroughs.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

shrink it down to size

Everything grows bigger as you approach it. Buildings get taller. Lanes seem wider. The only exception to this rule is the sky. When you're in it, the sky has a finite quality to it. Like you could meet a friend for a drink on cloud nine, and then head down the street and around the corner to 7th heaven, as though they shared the same area code.

I'm starting to get the sense that I've jumped back into work too soon. Or that I at least shouldn't have jumped in with two hands and two feet. But what was the alternative? Which road do you take when all of them potentially lead to another hospital visit or admission to the psych ward? And then I look down at my arm and my tattoo and realize, I'm doing exactly what I ought to be doing. And that is, pushing forward, regardless of damaged spirit or feeble health.

All the things around me are starting to feel so big. I'm losing perspective again. I absolutely must get a grip on how I want to see things, and what I want to make of them.

I almost forgot to pull down my pants when I went to take a piss tonight after work. This is not a good sign. But at least I've recognized it now before all is behind me and I'm looking back with resentment.

On a positive note: The film wraps soon and I'll be out of Ottawack for a vacation. Hello sunshine, I've missed you.

Monday, October 18, 2010

...and the leaves go crunch under my feets.

this look is also seen on my chictopia profile!

everything above is thrifted, head to toe.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

smart art

This is a mixed media canvas that I made for my best friend Ashley. It was to celebrate her 25th birthday this September.

A lot of the clippings are from various issues of ADBUSTERS, which (if you are not familiar with it) is my favourite magazine. There are also earrings that I hot glued onto the convas as well as a broach. On the bottom left corner you'll see Ashley carrying myself, a photo taken on my birthday this year.

thank you for being an inspiration, Ashley Dawn.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

nerd parade

who owned NERD GLASSES best?

Johnny Depp...perhaps..


and middle-aged.

Maybe Marilyn did.

As much as we love the international Man of MYSTERY...I don't think he gets my vote.

Gotta hand it to the king of wigs, Mr. Andy Warhol, for pulling off these rad glasses that have since made a huge come back.

Woody Allen is no stranger to the nerd look.

It is my profound belief that THIS man, unlike any other figure in history or current events, has worn glasses best. And not only has he worn them so well, but the glasses became his trademark. May you rest in peace, Malcom X.

Sharp dresser.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Let the right one in... Americanized?

Why oh why did they have to remake this film? Two years ago, Swede filmmaker and writer Tomas Alfredson and John Lindqvist made a phenomenal movie by the name Let the Right one in, or "Låt den rätte komma in" in its native tongue. The original is one of my top five favourite films made in the last five years, among the likes of Pan's Labrynth. I suppose it may be the film snob in me who feels such a strong prejudice towards the remake, but I don't think I'll be able to view it without any bias. I just don't see why they had to remake a film relased only two years ago. Is this a question of money or sucess? This happens too frequently... The need to bring something artistic and unique to America. Why not just re-release the originals if they have such an appeal to North Americans? If there's a market for a remake there's a market for the original. However, it's a little tricky to guage if the original would become more sucessful only because there's a remake or vice versa. This seems to be the case for a lot of films. Solaris, for example, became an instant Sci Fi success, compared to Kubricks 2001 Odyssey, only once the petty George Clooney remake sucked balls. Before the retelling, Solaris was mainly popular in Russia and Europe, and among critics.

but why the need to remake something so soon after its original's release? This is a curious thing to research. Which I will probably do, because I'm a nerd.

The American version of Let the Right one in, with the title "Let Me In," has received great reviews. I am just not sure I'm open minded enough to enjoy it without feeling I've committed adultery on its predecessor.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

first day on the job, a reflection

First day at work for the film was good, aside from the smoldering temperature in the production office. Mind you, it probably didn't help that I was clothed in a wool sweater. Feature films are a little different from television, but the same principles apply. Just trying to get a grip on the admin areas of the production and I'll be set.

I couldn't help but notice the poster of Smash Cut, a film made by this production company, in the front entrance of the office. For all you Entourage fans, Smash Cut is the film referenced in several episodes with guest star Sasha Grey. She's the protagonist of SC. I wonder what it feels like knowing most viewers, and probably Entourage watchers, have seen you naked. More over, have seen you gang banged. She's a pretty girl. What do her parents think of her work? Do all the guys she went to high school with secretly jerk it to her? What about her creepy uncle, does he do it too? The world is too small to conceal such a career from anyone who knows you, and quite frankly I doubt there's been any effort to make those films incognito.

Now that I'm no longer a Facebook user, I think about some of the photos that were posted of me. Some may have been inappropriate, some may have been straight up unflattering. And even that made me wonder what my parents thought of me. I couldn't imagine being on the other end of a "I can't believe you fuck people on camera for money" speech.

I guess all it is in retrospect is taking what you do in the privacy of a bedroom and splattering it on someone's television screen or monitor. What's so bad about that?